Que Sera, Sera, But That Doesn't Mean It Will Make Sense

In writing to a friend this afternoon about our travel plans for the coming month, I found myself remarking, "India is not the place to be if you're on a schedule". Thing don't happen on time, as expected or in logical order. (And that is assuming they happen at all.) Normally, I can keep this in mind and go with the flow, but for the 3 weeks between leaving Hyderabad and arriving in Paris, there are 1,000 things we want to do. We have a rigorous schedule to pack as much in as possible. There's even a mutually-edited spreadsheet.

We knew that visiting the Lakshaweep Islands was going to be a trial. And this fact alone added to the allure-- the more obscure and inaccessible they seemed, the more we wanted to go and discover them for ourselves. Very few first-hand accounts are available. However, silly, naive, me, I assumed that somewhere after purchasing plane tickets and speaking with a travel agent (which is mandatory-- there are authorized agents with whom you MUST plan your trip in order to get the necessary permits), the clouds would part and we'd be on our way.

Oh, if only.

In fact, getting in touch with the travel agent has made things far, far, foggier. Mostly because everything she says contradicts or complicates what I've read, and upon further research, I find that no sources are consistent. Meaning, I can't even assume that if 8 websites say the same thing and 2 say something else that the majority must be (closer to) right, because they are all different! The only points upon which they concur are:
A) The island is beautiful
B) The water is clear
C) It is near India
D) You can go diving
E) I am not there

I'm ok with A-D, but am working to rectify E as soon as possible. Unfortunately, no one can seem to tell us if it is best to go by cruise ship, speedboat, plane, or escorted by a gaggle of mermaids ( I am vying for the latter, obvi) and all information we do get comes with a huge, unexpected price tag. I am told (by the same person) that I have to pay today/tomorrow to book my room, and that the boats from the airport to the island where will stay "will be figured out when we get there". But, they also "may not run on your planned travel dates". The slow boat costs more than the fast boat, the ferry can't be bought one way, nothing runs to the island with the airport on the day we're to fly out, and if no one else shows up we have to pay for the whole damn boat.

Basically, the feat of arriving on the island at all should garner us some medals. And if we make it back, too, I'm expecting to be called Dr. Rachel from that point forward, because I will have a PhD in What Just Happened.